Choose Love over Fear

“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear.

― Elisabeth Kubler Ros


For a while now, I’ve been taking myself on a profound journey to consciously choose Love over Fear.  This means that I don’t make any decisions which are Fear-based.  When I feel that sense of urgency and panic, that I MUST DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN!! I stop.  Breathe.  And remind myself that any decision based on Fear is almost guaranteed to be the wrong one and taking me further from my true path.  This is a lesson I’ve learned over and over again in life.  I can either graduate from this lesson now, or it will keep repeating itself until I learn it in the future.

Heroines choose from Love.  Think of some of the best loved and timeless heroines in literature.  Think of Elizabeth Bennet’s confidence, and self love when she states : “I am determined that only the very deepest love will ever induce me to marry.”  She declares this, clearly and without apology at a time when a marriage, even a loveless one would have ensured her comfort for life, whereas remaining single could have meant a life of poverty and ridicule.

Think of another heroine, Jane Eyre, who declares in one of the most difficult moments of her life: “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”   That quote takes my breath away.

My biggest regrets from the past are from times when I’ve chosen Fear.  When I ignored my own inner wisdom and allowed myself to be pressured for fear of losing the person who was pressuring me.  I ended up in relationships which were not only toxic, but some were outright abusive.  I played small and allowed Fear to dictate how I responded to someone because I didn’t want to lose their friendship.  When in reality, I know from experience that the people who are only in your life as long as you’re living from Fear are the people who will leave eventually anyway.  They are not meant to be in your life.  And if someone is destined to no longer be in my life, I’d much rather they left because I came from a place of such self love and self respect that they knew there was nothing they could to do control me.

Love is the emotion that leads us to the things that are right for us at the level of our souls.  Do you think you’re soul mate will come into your life when you choose from Fear or Love?  Is your soul mate likely to be the guy you tolerate, who doesn’t see you or support you? W ho expects you to meet his needs while offering nothing in return, but you choose to be with because you’re afraid if you leave, you’ll never find anyone else again?

Or is he likely to be the guy who sees you and adores you, who opens you up to an even deeper love than you’ve ever known before, who you choose to be with because you love him, and because you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him?

How about discovering your true purpose?  Which is more likely to give you the greatest level of satisfaction, joy and abundance?  Staying in a dull, gray office, looking out your window at gray skies and a gray business park because you’re afraid to risk leaving and step out into the unknown?

Or throwing your heart and soul into that thing that lights you up, which wakes you up at night, buzzing with excitement, which you can’t wait to share?  Which is likely to be your gift to the world?

Which one is the Heroine’s path?

Heroines choose Love over Fear.  And they choose it consciously, one step at a time, day after day until their world has changed and they can no longer imagine any other way to live.