Happy International Self Love Day!

Happy International Self Love Day, Ladies!  Not many people know about this holiday, but I believe self love is the key to attracting all the things we want into our lives, including the right relationships, romantic or otherwise, and should be celebrated.  Spending time with ourselves, really getting to know who we are, the truth of who we are right at our cores is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and everyone in our lives.

It is almost impossible to create the life and love you want, if you don’t know or love who you are.  You’ll continuously look for people outside of you to give you that which you can only give to yourself.  We’ve all been there.  I’ve been the woman who feared that she was a horrible person at her core, and pulled on other people to prove to her that she really was a good person, all the while afraid that sooner or later, they’d discover how bad I really was.  I’ve also been the woman who attracted the Walking Wounded, people who pulled on her to make amends for all the wrongs life had done them.  Being on either side of the dynamic will never bring us the deep inner peace, happiness, joy and love we’re really looking for.

Life On Own Terms

Self love takes courage.  I also believe it’s a discipline, something we need to chose day after day, even when we don’t feel like it.  We choose to love ourselves, even when we don’t feel good, or we make mistakes.  This is real unconditional love, something you commit to creating moment to moment, not just something you promise yourself when you’re feeling on top of the world, and goes out the window as soon as you feel angry or fed up or sad.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone loved themselves unconditionally, with the kind of healthy love that flows out to everyone in our lives?  No more choosing relationships based on fear.  No more staying in jobs which drain us because we’re too afraid of going after what we really want.  No more neglecting our health or scraping by month after month because we’re too afraid of rejection or feelings of unworthiness to charge what we’re really worth.

If you’re single right now, the day before Valentine’s Day, you’re actually in a very lucky situation.  You have a free canvas for creating the love you really want so that next Valentine’s Day, you may wake up in the arms of the love of your life.  And you can start creating this right now, on International Self Love Day, by righting the most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life, the one you have with yourself.  Make a decision today that you’re going to commit to knowing yourself and falling deeply in love with who you really are.  At the end of the day, you’re the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, the one who’s going to be with you no matter what.  And the deep, loving, passionate relationship you’re looking for can only happen when two people who know and love who they are, come together to give and share love rather than to get love.

Self love isn’t always an easy thing to develop.  I grew up with a lot of examples of toxic self love and I couldn’t shake the belief that to love myself and put myself first would make me a selfish person who would hurt other people.  But I learned, as will you, that self love is only selfish if you think it’s only something you should have.  When you give to yourself to the detriment of other people and think other people should give to you ‘just because’.

When you have a deep, healthy self love, you want everyone else to experience it too. You don’t think other people valuing themselves makes you somehow less valuable.  Self love prevents you from pulling on others to give to you what you can only get from yourself.  Healthy self love makes you a more open hearted, generous person and developing it is one of the most selfless things you can do.

What can you do today to fall more deeply in love with yourself?  How can you be kinder to yourself?

Hint:  Imagine your ideal relationship.  Imagine how he’ll treat you.  That’s how you treat yourself.  The relationships we call in are a reflection of our relationships with ourselves.  If you attract men who don’t care about what you want, you need to ask yourself in what ways are you neglecting your own wants.  If you attract men who are never there for you, you need to ask yourself in what ways are you not there for yourself.  And if you want to attract a strong, loving man who will love you, no matter what, you need to commit to feeling this way about yourself first.

I’ll be writing more on developing deep self love in the coming weeks but for now, let me once again wish you all a Happy Self Love Day. Here’s to creating the most important love you’ll ever have!

Healthy Eating to Prepare For Love

I’m a big believer in self-care, especially when it comes to calling in true love.  The more you take care of yourself and value yourself in all aspects of your life, the easier it will be for love to find you, and the more natural it will feel for you to embrace it.  This includes taking care of yourself in the areas of fitness and healthy eating.

The effects of these are obvious.  The fitter and healthier you are, the better you look and feel about yourself.  The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you are.  You feel proud that you value yourself enough to take care of yourself and this confidence attracts a higher quality of man to you.*

* As an side note, I’m not suggesting that you need to have the perfect figure to attract your soul mate.  This isn’t about that.  Your soul mate will love you for you, not because you look like someone from a catalogue.  But when you start to take better care of your health, you demonstrate to yourself how much you value and love who you are.  You prove to yourself in a powerful way that you are worth valuing and caring for.  And this attitude will be powerfully attractive to the right man.

Taking better care of your health doesn’t have to take a huge chunk out of your already busy day.  A few tweaks here and there will make a massive difference in how you feel.  I’m currently training for my first marathon in June (eek!)  and I’ve decided to share with you one of my favourite, and fastest health tips: Green Smoothies.

photo credit: mollyblock via photopin

photo credit: mollyblock via photopin

Seriously, they’re amazing.  They look a bit weird but they taste delicious.  They are a mixture of fruit and green, leafy vegetables, blended together to create one super healthy drink.  And they only take about 5 minutes to make, including preparation and clean up afterwards.

Simple Green Smoothie Recipe:

Chop up some strawberries and blueberries and a banana and throw them into a blender.  Add a big handful of spinach, some chopped ginger, and a spoonful of low fat or soya yogurt.  Add half a cup of water and blend until smooth.  Pour into a glass and enjoy.

That’s it!

You can make thousands of different types of smoothies.  Experiment with different fruits and greens and see which ones work for you.  You’ll notice the effects very quickly.  Typically, within 3 days, your energy levels will be sky-high.  No afternoon slump.  Your skin will have a beautiful glow and your body will feel lighter.  And not long after that, you’ll actually start to crave more greens in your diet. Promise yourself you’ll try it out for two weeks, and you’ll see what I mean.

And now, I’m on my way out for my evening run. Wish me luck!