Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day to my followers ūüôā ¬†Today is the traditional day for celebrating love, but I believe love is something that should be celebrated all year around, with everyone in our lives. ¬†Even if you’re single today, take time to appreciate how much love is in your life right now. ¬†Look for all the ways the people in your life show you they love you, from the friend who has always supported and believed in you no matter what, to the cup of coffee your sister brought you as a peace-offering that time you had a spat. ¬†

Valentines Day Picture

The reality is that even if we’re not in the right relationship yet, our lives are filled with love. ¬†All of us have people in our lives who would do anything for us, but we’re so focused on the form it should take, that it only counts if it comes from a romantic partner, that we miss the love that’s right in front of us and all around us.

How can you show more love and appreciation to your loved ones today? ¬†Call up an old friend and tell them you’ve been thinking of them. ¬†Invite some of your single friends around for a home cooked dinner. ¬†Tell someone how much they mean to you, and how lucky you are to have them in your life. ¬†Do all this with the pure intention of giving love, without expecting anything in return. ¬†

And of course, also spend today giving love to yourself. ¬†Fill yourself up with love, do something you’ve been wanting to do for ages. ¬†Take the afternoon off and indulge in a favourite book. ¬†Think of ways you can commit even more deeply to yourself by visioning the big dream you have for your life and the great purpose you were born to share with the world, and take the first steps today to make that a reality.

Happy Valentine’s Day again, and no matter what your relationship status, allow today to be as love filled as you can make it. ¬†You are pure love at your core, so share the gift of your authentic self, everywhere you go. xoxoxo

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Coaching Offer: From People-Pleaser to Desirable, Authentic Woman

If you’re a woman who engages in¬†people-pleasing behaviour, who finds herself drained and exhausted from trying to meet other people’s needs, then this offer is specifically designed for you. ¬†Over the next 90 days, you’ll overcome this pattern, reclaim your power and feel valued and accepted for who you really are, not for what you can do for others. It will transform your life and relationships.

The cost of being a people-pleaser is high. You feel stressed and resentful that you give so much to other people, who never seem to feel guilty about not giving to you in return.  In fact, they often actively discourage you from having any needs of your own, making you feel that your needs are a massive imposition, while their needs, no matter how big, are perfectly reasonable.

You’re probably an expert in anticipating other people’s needs and you often wonder why they aren’t as sensitive and considerate about anticipating yours. You may feel guilty for having any needs of your own. ¬†You find it difficult, if not impossible to say no to others. ¬†Deep down, you may even feel that you only exist in relation to other people and you don’t know who you would be if you weren’t taking care of them. The idea of people disliking you or possibly leaving you, withdrawing their love and affection fills you with a sick feeling of dread. ¬†You’re afraid to express your real desires and opinions in case it drives other people away.

Because you’re a kind, loving and compassionate woman, you might also find that you attract people who feel no guilt with taking advantage of your generous nature. ¬†You keep hoping that each new relationship will be different, that you’ll finally find someone who will want to take care of you for a change. ¬†But instead, you feel like a magnet for users and takers who are only happy to stay as long as you’re giving to them and not expecting anything in return.

Driving people-pleasing, over-giving behaviour is a belief, often unconscious, that if you give to other people, anticipate all their needs and be whoever they want you to be, while at the same time suppressing your own needs, expectations, thoughts and opinions, that you will be loved, approved of, appreciated and taken care of. ¬†You might even fantasise about other people finally realising that you were the one who ‘saved’ them and was there for them all along. ¬†In your fantasy, these grateful people will then shower you with love, adoration and appreciation for the rest of your life and will repay your kindness by meeting all of your needs in return, without you ever having to risk rejection or disapproval by asking directly for what you want.

The frustrating part of this is that it doesn’t work. ¬†Instead, you feel sick, exhausted and resentful. ¬†You feel like you’re a magnet for self-absorbed, narcissistic people who expect you to meet all of their needs while at the same time shaming you and making you feel guilty for having any of your own. ¬†If you’ve been dreaming of finding the right relationship for some time now, you probably look at other women who have adoring men falling all over themselves to meet their needs while any guy you meet acts as though you needing anything from him at all is completely unacceptable. ¬†Your deepest desire is to be loved, accepted and appreciated for who you are and yet it never seems to happen for you the way it does for other people who you sometimes secretly feel are less deserving.

New Year Beach Couple

This 90 day program is designed to take you from unappreciated people-pleaser to adored, authentic woman who is unapologetic about her desires and can express them in a way that inspires other people to want to meet them.  This one to one coaching program is about you reclaiming yourself and your authentic voice and moving from a life based in fear to a richer one based in love.

Over 90 days, the two of us will work together to:

  • Uncover your underlying beliefs about relationships, other people and about who you are, to pinpoint where this behaviour comes from so we can shift them to more empowering beliefs, thoughts and actions.
  • You will pinpoint the specific ways that you’ve been giving your power away to others so you can replace these behaviours with more positive actions, which honour your own needs.
  • You’ll answer some enlightening questions to learn the top two needs which are the driving force behind everything you do and uncover the unhealthy ways you’ve been trying to get these needs met. You will learn the tools and skills to start meeting your needs in healthier ways which serve you and are more true to who you really are.
  • You will learn the tools and skills for setting boundaries without guilt so that you are no longer available to be unappreciated and taken advantage of. ¬†You will see how having strong boundaries actually frees you up to have even more compassion and consideration for others, when you no longer have to fear being treated like a doormat. ¬†It will also mean that others will have a higher value for your time and energy.
  • You will reclaim your power and identify the ways you’ve been giving it away to other people, needing their permission to feel worthy and good about yourself.
  • You will learn who you really are, your true authentic and magnetic self and experience the satisfaction and joy of being who you want to be and not who other people need you to be.
  • You’ll learn your true values, dreams, desires and needs and will learn the skills to express them confidently and unapologetically so you’re no longer playing small. ¬†This skill will start to call people into your life who are happy and proud to meet your needs.
  • You’ll build a strong sense of self so you never again feel the need to change into someone you’re not.
  • You’ll learn the signs of toxic, manipulative people who don’t have your well-being at heart so you can weed them out quickly. ¬†You will also learn to hold onto who you are and ¬†your own truth and reality when you interact with people like this. ¬†No more feeling confused, guilty and afraid when dealing with crazy-making people. This skill is invaluable when dealing with toxic family members who aren’t so easy to walk away from. No more stomach-churning stress when you go home for the Holidays.
  • You’ll learn to stop apologizing for who you are and celebrate the fact that you deserve to be here and take up space as much as anyone.
  • You’ll uncover any unconscious negative beliefs you have about assertive, self-loving behaviour and learn to see them in a healthier, more positive light.
  • You’ll learn the secrets to loving and valuing yourself unconditionally so that you will never accept crumbs from anyone again. ¬†You will love yourself so deeply that you simply won’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t feel the same way. ¬†You’ll learn to treat yourself very well and understand why you actually help and serve people more deeply by putting yourself first. ¬†No-one will ever thank you for devaluing yourself, to make them feel better.

Over the next 90 days, we will meet weekly through 60 minute Skype sessions.  The first session will be a 90 minute intensive so I can learn all about you, and your own unique patterns, beliefs and desires so we can get crystal clear on where you hope to be by the end of the program.  You will also have email access to me over the 90 days so you can reach out to me with questions at any time.

The cost of this 90 day program is only ¬£500. ¬† This is a holiday price and will go back to it’s usual price of ¬£650¬†after January 2014. ¬†I only have 10 places for 10 women¬†6 places for 6 women on this program so sign up quickly below so you can start the new year being your full, empowered and magnetic self, to call in the life you’ve been dreaming of.

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

If you have any questions, email me at borntobeaheroine@gmail.com.

New Year Offer Friends

I look forward to helping you overcome your self-destructive people-pleasing patterns and helping you to reclaim your true self.

Radio Show

Recently, I was interviewed by Carmen Wyld, on her Inspired Conscious Living radio show. ¬†We talked about how to stop apologizing for who you are, and why authentic self love is at the core of creating the life of your desire. ¬†Enjoy ūüôā

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inspiringconsciousliving/2013/11/10/interview-with-tiffany–transition-coach

 

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dexxus/4714207610/">paul bica</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>

 

What Are You Avoiding?

We all play small at times, often without even realizing we’re doing it. ¬†We keep ourselves in our safe little corners and dream that ‘maybe someday’, the life we want will somehow just magically happen for us, without us having to make any big changes, or step out of our comfort zones.

While we don’t always see it in ourselves, we do see it in other people. ¬†Think of the woman you know who has always talked about travelling the world, and yet has never bought a plane ticket. ¬†Think of the woman who dreams of meeting the love of her life and talks proudly about how she refuses to settle, but yet never goes on a date. ¬†Or the woman who dreams of doing meaningful work in the world but is too afraid to put herself out there and own what she does.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/haoz/1204314670/">HaoJan</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">c

These women are all trying to avoid something. ¬†Whether that’s failure, rejection or something else. ¬†They all want their big dreams, but they want it to happen without them having to take any risks. ¬†They want to call in these exciting changes into their lives, without growing into the women they would need to be, in order to be able to receive them.

The life you have now, came through as a result of the woman you were when you created it. ¬†In order to call in something new and better, you need to release the old you, the woman who allowed her fears to stop her, and who lived her life in a way that allowed her to play safe and avoid pain. ¬†You need to grow yourself into the woman who opens herself up to her dreams, in spite of her fears, who owns her worth and isn’t afraid to be seen.

If you have spent your life as an employee, and you now dream of being a six figure entrepreneur, you need to allow the ’employee’ you to die, and step into being the woman who is a six figure entrepreneur, even before your six figure earnings show up in the real world. ¬†Employees can avoid being visible, and can play small. ¬†Entrepreneurs can’t and won’t.

If you have spent your life either alone, and/or with the wrong men, and you dream of being happily married to the love of your life, then you need to release the old you, who tolerated poor treatment, and settled for crumbs, and instead grow yourself into the woman who is blissfully cherished and adored and is head over heels in love with her amazing husband.

Spend some time this week, thinking of the life you want to live, and notice how often your actions line up with that. ¬†If you say you want one thing, but your actions tell you something different, ask yourself what you’re trying to avoid? ¬†What pain is it you’re trying to get away from? ¬†Are you hoping that the things you want will somehow happen without you having to put yourself out there and take risks to receive them?

If so, promise yourself that from now on, the actions you take will be in alignment with what you really want. ¬†Having to face your fear of opening yourself up to new clients won’t seem so bad when you’re choosing an exotic location to spend your Summer in, money no object. ¬†The idea of having been rejected by one random guy won’t seem so painful when you wake up every morning in the arms of the love of your life. ¬†Any pain is temporary,. ¬†Once it’s over with, it’s in the past forever. And it will be nothing compared to the pain you’ll feel if you look back over your life and know that you wasted your chance to live your dreams, by playing safe and small.

Be Totally Unrealistic

If there’s one word that holds women back from the life of their dreams, it’s the word ‘realistic’.¬† I cringe when I hear it because I know the person saying it has almost certainly bought into limitations, without ever really examining if they’re true.¬† Limitations usually placed on them by other people who also have never really examined if they’re true.

When I work with a client, one of the first things we do is to get all her deepest dreams out on the table.¬† Her absolute dream life.¬† Being ‘realistic’ is banned from the session, we want everything out in the open.¬† Coaching is a place for miracles to occur, not for creating a half-life, inside the boundaries of falsely imposed limitations.

Some things are unrealistic, yes.¬† However much I want to, I’m never going to meet Henry VIII(my only Bad Boy crush) in this life time. But most of our desires aren’t unrealistic, they’re just unexamined.¬† For almost everything you want to do, there is someone in the world doing it right now.¬† Want to find your soul mate at 80 years of age?¬† There are women older than that falling in love and getting married every day.¬† Want to have a career where you love what you do, make plenty of money and have lots of free time?¬† There are people all over the world (and the number is growing) who are doing this as you read. Want to travel the world with your spouse and children, without disrupting your kids education?¬† There are families everywhere, doing this right at this very moment.

You can worry about being ‘realistic’ later on.¬† For now, dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed before.¬† The moment you catch yourself uttering the ‘R’ word, stop and examine if it’s even true.¬† A quick Google search will usually throw that notion out the window.

If someone is out in the world, doing something you want, then that means it’s possible for you too.¬† Yes, your situation might be different to theirs.¬† You might have obstacles that they don’t have.¬† But guess what?¬† They have obstacles too.¬† Ones that you don’t have.¬† But the difference is, they still made it work.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin <a  One of my 'unrealistic' travel destinations.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin

I remember when I first came back from traveling alone (apparently, it’s completely unrealistic for a girl to want to travel alone).¬† Most of the people who had told me before I left that it was unrealistic for me, now told me how ‘lucky’ I was, and how they wished they could do it too.¬† When I told them if I could do it, then there was no reason they couldn’t either, they told me all these reasons why it was possible for me to do it, and unrealistic for them.¬† One co-worker told me that I was a lot braver than she was.¬† Well that had nothing to do with it.¬† All the things she feared could happen to her, could have happened to me too.¬† I was just as fragile and breakable as she was.¬† I had all the same fears.¬† There were times on my adventures when I was absolutely, hands-hidden-inside-my-shirt-sleeves-so-no-one-can-see-how-much-they’re-shaking, terrified.¬† The difference is, I did it anyway.

Being unrealistic is where the magic happens.¬† Challenge any automatic assumptions you might have about what’s realistic, or why something is possible for other people, but not for you.¬† When you feel afraid of challenging the assumption, that’s a sign that you’re on the right track.¬† Challenge it, move past it and you’ll look back and wonder why you ever thought that way.

Why Are You Apologizing For Your Desires?

We’ve been raised to believe that it’s wrong to have big dreams.¬† We balk at the idea of being upfront about our desires and judge ourselves as greedy for wanting abundance.¬† As women, we’re often trained to meet other people’s needs, while ignoring our own.¬† And we do it, without ever questioning why it has to be this way.

One of my clients is a top executive at one of the largest humanitarian organizations in the world.¬† During our first coaching call, she told me that she has a big dream of having all the money she’ll ever need, while having plenty of free time to spend with the child she’s planning to adopt.¬† We explored her dream behind her dream, to discover why she wanted this wealth.¬† What would it enable her to do, that she can’t do now?¬† Who’s life would change, as a result of her producing this income?

photo credit: eir@si via photopin cc

photo credit: eir@si via photopin cc

After several minutes, we found out that her dream is to use the money to build schools for the education of girls in Kenya and Ethiopia, places she’s been to several times, and adores.¬† She wants to see women and girls be empowered in ways that benefit them and their whole communities. This is the legacy she wants to leave behind in the world, after she’s gone.

While talking about this incredible goal, her whole tone lit up.¬† Her voice was vibrant and excited and I could feel her passion and authenticity in my own body while listening to her.¬† However, when she returned to the subject of having the wealth and time to achieve this, her whole tone became apologetic.¬† She had the very common belief that it’s somehow selfish and unrealistic to want to have great wealth and free time, despite it’s purpose.¬† We quickly turned that belief on it’s head when she opened up to the possibility that it was more than fine for her to want this. Why wouldn’t she?¬† It makes perfect sense to want to have financial freedom and plenty of time to spend with the people and projects you love.¬† It’s the other way around – working endless hours for little pay that makes no sense.

Be bold about your desires.¬† Stop judging yourself for wanting what you want.¬† It’s perfectly ok.¬† You can do far more good in the world with wealth, than you can when you’re struggling to pay the bills.¬† You find it easier to be more open-hearted and generous when you’re not stressing about how to feed your children.¬† Wealth for wealth’s sake is not in itself a worthy goal, but that’s why people very rarely want this.¬† What we want is the life and goals that having wealth will enable us to achieve.¬† It’s like wanting to get from Edinburgh to London, and apologizing for wanting a car to make the journey easier, when you’ve been brought up to believe you should walk.

Start paying attention to the times you judge yourself and catch it as quickly as you can.¬† Then turn it around.¬† Remember the goal behind the goal, and remind yourself how worthy and noble your desires are.¬† You would not be reading this website, if you were not a conscious woman who wants to live out her life’s purpose and make a difference in the world. So stop treating yourself like you’re someone you’re not!

Are you hiding your true self?

We are all meant to be empowered, feminine, women and fulfill our callings in life.Yet it’s so easy to get confused, feel insecure and even lose hope in your path or purpose.And it’s also so easy to leave parts of ourselves on the backburner or secretly hiding…

That is why I’m so excited about what Gina Devee’s is up to…

She is releasing 7 videos she filmed in Paris that will inspire you to completely develop yourself in a way that brings everything about who YOU are front and center.

Gina‚Äôs message is all about YOU becoming your best self and expressing at your highest levels and fullest capacity.If you know, deep down that it‚Äôs time to stop hiding parts of yourself and let your light shine so brightly that you won‚Äôt be mistaken for anyone else ‚Äď then I strongly encourage you to watch Gina‚Äôs first video now.Gina went from being a struggling psychotherapist making $24K a year, to a coach living in her feminine power‚Ķ working from Italy, Paris, Greece, England & Australia‚Ķ inspiring women globally to step out from hiding and live their dream now.

Many of her clients are doing the same.

Only you know why you are here.

And Gina DeVee knows how to bring that gift out of you in such a powerfully feminine way, that you can’t help but attract the right clients for you, at the price you deserve.

It’s time to let everyone know who you came here to be.

P.S. If you are absolutely ready to step into your own power and transform your money story…. And do it in a way where you can create a business that you love in the process.

Deep Coaching

You are a woman who is successful, adventurous and intuitive and right now, you feel like you’re in a period of transition. ¬†You’ve been following the life path you were told is the correct one. ¬†But you know it doesn’t feel right. ¬†It sometimes feels like you’re sleep-walking through your days, still waiting for your real life to start. You have big dreams. ¬†You want an extraordinary life. ¬†You want to be able to look back on your life and cherish the amazing memories you created, with the satisfaction of knowing you played full out, and that the world is now a far better place, because you were here. ¬†You want to share yourself and your gifts fully with the world. You‚Äôve started to move away from where you were. But you‚Äôre feeling stuck because you‚Äôre still not clear on where you want to go, or how to get there.¬† You want to get out of that ‚Äėin between‚Äô phase, and start living the life you want to live.

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Yet, when you consider going for your dreams, something holds you back. ¬†You doubt yourself. ¬†Your family and friends criticize you and try to pull you back into the fold, and you can’t remember how to claim confidence in your own voice. ¬†Every time you try to open up about your dreams, you get shut down and you start to wonder if maybe they’re right…

Coaching is one of the best ways to overcome fears and blocks you have around living your dreams. ¬†It helps you gain clarity and reconnect with your true self, so you can live fully from your soul, knowing exactly what you want. ¬†And you have someone who is 100% on your side, who believes in you, and encourages you to dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed before.

I only work with a few coaching clients a year. ¬†I help women who have forgotten how powerful they are, to reconnect with their true power and reclaim their voice. ¬†I work with women who want to stop apologizing and seeking permission to be who they really are, so they can unapologetically be their authentic, warm, loving and open-hearted selves. ¬†You’ll learn how to listen to your intuition, and take back your power. ¬†The coaching we do is deep, and is unique to each person I work with.

Because I spent so many years feeling powerless myself, I can easily see where people are giving their power away to others and how they can begin to reclaim it. ¬†I can see the destructive thoughts, actions, behaviors, blind spots and patterns that hold them back. ¬†And I can also see the genius in the people I work with, even when they can’t see it themselves. ¬†My clients say they love that they can tell me anything, no matter how big or fearful. ¬†They love that I believe in them and can see their brilliance, even when they can’t see it themselves. ¬†Many of them have told me it’s the first time they’ve ever felt safe enough to fully share their dreams with another person.

Life On Own Terms

You don’t need a coach. No-one needs a coach. ¬†Coaching is something you want, when you’re ready to play full out, and take your life to the next level. Coaching isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s an investment, not just of money, but of time, commitment and courage.

For the first time,probably in years, you will reclaim your own voice and see the world differently, opening up to new possibilities. Listening to your own voice and not the voice of your conditioning literally changes your life.

I work by invitation and referral only. ¬†I spend a minimum of two hours with each prospective client, learning about who you are and exploring what you really want. ¬†If after two hours, we decide we’ve solved your problem, we can leave it there (although I like to keep in touch from time to time, to know how you’re doing). ¬†If you decide you’d like to continue coaching, and if it’s a fit for both of us, then we can explore how we can work together.

Because I only work with a few people, I have a very high filter for the types of clients I work with:

1: You must be coachable. ¬†If you’re just looking for new information, then coaching isn’t for you. ¬†The work we do together needs to be applied for you to experience transformation.

2: You must be fun and interesting. We’ll be working closely together, so it’s important that we enjoy each other’s company.

3: You must be committed and courageous.  You must really want your big dreams, and be willing to stretch outside of your comfort zone.

4: You must be inspiring.  You must be lit up by what you want, and you must want something that will really make a difference in your life and in the world.

If you meet those 4 criteria, then we should have a great time working together.

Contact me¬†at borntobeaheroine@gmail.com, for a powerful coaching conversation. We’ll block out 2 full hours, and I will give you the most powerful coaching experience I can give. ¬†At the end of that time, you’ll know. ¬†Either you’ll want more of that. ¬†Or we’ll be complete, because you’ll have had everything that you need from our conversation. Either way is a success.

When you’re ready to change your life, contact me and we’ll talk.