Happy International Self Love Day!

Happy International Self Love Day, Ladies!  Not many people know about this holiday, but I believe self love is the key to attracting all the things we want into our lives, including the right relationships, romantic or otherwise, and should be celebrated.  Spending time with ourselves, really getting to know who we are, the truth of who we are right at our cores is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and everyone in our lives.

It is almost impossible to create the life and love you want, if you don’t know or love who you are.  You’ll continuously look for people outside of you to give you that which you can only give to yourself.  We’ve all been there.  I’ve been the woman who feared that she was a horrible person at her core, and pulled on other people to prove to her that she really was a good person, all the while afraid that sooner or later, they’d discover how bad I really was.  I’ve also been the woman who attracted the Walking Wounded, people who pulled on her to make amends for all the wrongs life had done them.  Being on either side of the dynamic will never bring us the deep inner peace, happiness, joy and love we’re really looking for.

Life On Own Terms

Self love takes courage.  I also believe it’s a discipline, something we need to chose day after day, even when we don’t feel like it.  We choose to love ourselves, even when we don’t feel good, or we make mistakes.  This is real unconditional love, something you commit to creating moment to moment, not just something you promise yourself when you’re feeling on top of the world, and goes out the window as soon as you feel angry or fed up or sad.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone loved themselves unconditionally, with the kind of healthy love that flows out to everyone in our lives?  No more choosing relationships based on fear.  No more staying in jobs which drain us because we’re too afraid of going after what we really want.  No more neglecting our health or scraping by month after month because we’re too afraid of rejection or feelings of unworthiness to charge what we’re really worth.

If you’re single right now, the day before Valentine’s Day, you’re actually in a very lucky situation.  You have a free canvas for creating the love you really want so that next Valentine’s Day, you may wake up in the arms of the love of your life.  And you can start creating this right now, on International Self Love Day, by righting the most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life, the one you have with yourself.  Make a decision today that you’re going to commit to knowing yourself and falling deeply in love with who you really are.  At the end of the day, you’re the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, the one who’s going to be with you no matter what.  And the deep, loving, passionate relationship you’re looking for can only happen when two people who know and love who they are, come together to give and share love rather than to get love.

Self love isn’t always an easy thing to develop.  I grew up with a lot of examples of toxic self love and I couldn’t shake the belief that to love myself and put myself first would make me a selfish person who would hurt other people.  But I learned, as will you, that self love is only selfish if you think it’s only something you should have.  When you give to yourself to the detriment of other people and think other people should give to you ‘just because’.

When you have a deep, healthy self love, you want everyone else to experience it too. You don’t think other people valuing themselves makes you somehow less valuable.  Self love prevents you from pulling on others to give to you what you can only get from yourself.  Healthy self love makes you a more open hearted, generous person and developing it is one of the most selfless things you can do.

What can you do today to fall more deeply in love with yourself?  How can you be kinder to yourself?

Hint:  Imagine your ideal relationship.  Imagine how he’ll treat you.  That’s how you treat yourself.  The relationships we call in are a reflection of our relationships with ourselves.  If you attract men who don’t care about what you want, you need to ask yourself in what ways are you neglecting your own wants.  If you attract men who are never there for you, you need to ask yourself in what ways are you not there for yourself.  And if you want to attract a strong, loving man who will love you, no matter what, you need to commit to feeling this way about yourself first.

I’ll be writing more on developing deep self love in the coming weeks but for now, let me once again wish you all a Happy Self Love Day. Here’s to creating the most important love you’ll ever have!

What Are You Avoiding?

We all play small at times, often without even realizing we’re doing it.  We keep ourselves in our safe little corners and dream that ‘maybe someday’, the life we want will somehow just magically happen for us, without us having to make any big changes, or step out of our comfort zones.

While we don’t always see it in ourselves, we do see it in other people.  Think of the woman you know who has always talked about travelling the world, and yet has never bought a plane ticket.  Think of the woman who dreams of meeting the love of her life and talks proudly about how she refuses to settle, but yet never goes on a date.  Or the woman who dreams of doing meaningful work in the world but is too afraid to put herself out there and own what she does.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/haoz/1204314670/">HaoJan</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">c

These women are all trying to avoid something.  Whether that’s failure, rejection or something else.  They all want their big dreams, but they want it to happen without them having to take any risks.  They want to call in these exciting changes into their lives, without growing into the women they would need to be, in order to be able to receive them.

The life you have now, came through as a result of the woman you were when you created it.  In order to call in something new and better, you need to release the old you, the woman who allowed her fears to stop her, and who lived her life in a way that allowed her to play safe and avoid pain.  You need to grow yourself into the woman who opens herself up to her dreams, in spite of her fears, who owns her worth and isn’t afraid to be seen.

If you have spent your life as an employee, and you now dream of being a six figure entrepreneur, you need to allow the ’employee’ you to die, and step into being the woman who is a six figure entrepreneur, even before your six figure earnings show up in the real world.  Employees can avoid being visible, and can play small.  Entrepreneurs can’t and won’t.

If you have spent your life either alone, and/or with the wrong men, and you dream of being happily married to the love of your life, then you need to release the old you, who tolerated poor treatment, and settled for crumbs, and instead grow yourself into the woman who is blissfully cherished and adored and is head over heels in love with her amazing husband.

Spend some time this week, thinking of the life you want to live, and notice how often your actions line up with that.  If you say you want one thing, but your actions tell you something different, ask yourself what you’re trying to avoid?  What pain is it you’re trying to get away from?  Are you hoping that the things you want will somehow happen without you having to put yourself out there and take risks to receive them?

If so, promise yourself that from now on, the actions you take will be in alignment with what you really want.  Having to face your fear of opening yourself up to new clients won’t seem so bad when you’re choosing an exotic location to spend your Summer in, money no object.  The idea of having been rejected by one random guy won’t seem so painful when you wake up every morning in the arms of the love of your life.  Any pain is temporary,.  Once it’s over with, it’s in the past forever. And it will be nothing compared to the pain you’ll feel if you look back over your life and know that you wasted your chance to live your dreams, by playing safe and small.

Outrageous Requests = Outrageous Results

For the month of October, I have been playing a game set by my mentor, called Outrageous October.  For this month, I am making outrageous requests, far outside my comfort zone.  The purpose of the game is to deliberately fail, and collect as many Nos as I can.  A No is a success.

The whole point of the game is to stretch myself and the others taking part, to help us lose the fear of asking for what we really want, and hearing a No. If we see it as a game, then we don’t take it so seriously.  We don’t create a story about what ‘No’ means about us. We are collecting No’s, so when we get one, we just say ‘Thank you! Win! Next!’

This game is a lot of fun.  Just yesterday, I sent a bold proposal to a certain famous television personality, offering her 3 months of coaching for $25,000.  Then I followed it up with a request to a world famous coach, offering to coach him for 6 months, for $55,000.  The numbers didn’t really matter.  I just chose large numbers that were outside my comfort zone, and put them out there.  I would never have dared do something so bold before.  But because it was a game, it was simply fun!  I love to play, and this was right up my street. I was bubbling over with energy afterwards.  I told one of my coaching clients about it in our session last night and she thought it sounded like so much fun, that she’s begun to play too.

What would you ask for, if you had no fear of the response?  If you knew you wouldn’t create a story about why you didn’t get the answer you were hoping for?  What if the answer you usually fear to receive was the one you were actually trying to get, and getting it was actually a win for you?

Steve Chandler calls it ‘Playing the No Game’.  If I handed you a coin, and told you I’d pay you $100 for each time you flipped it and it came up heads in the next 5 minutes, what would you do?  You’d start flipping pretty quickly.  And what would happen if the coin came up Tails?  Would you stop right away for fear of getting more Tails, and start creating a story about what receiving a Tails meant about you?  Of course not!  You’d keep flipping that coin, as many times as you can.  Because you’d know that the more times the coin comes up Tails, the more it will come up Heads, which is where the wealth is.

No works in the same way.  You can’t get Yeses, without also getting Nos. The more Nos you receive, the more Yeses will also follow.  The key is to keep asking. No just means No.  It doesn’t mean anything about your worth as a human being.  It doesn’t say anything about your value.  It’s just information.

What would you love to ask for, that you’d love to get  a Yes response?  Go out and ask as many people, and deliberately collect as many Nos as you can.  And notice how much easier it is to create what you want, when No no longer holds any power over you.

Be Totally Unrealistic

If there’s one word that holds women back from the life of their dreams, it’s the word ‘realistic’.  I cringe when I hear it because I know the person saying it has almost certainly bought into limitations, without ever really examining if they’re true.  Limitations usually placed on them by other people who also have never really examined if they’re true.

When I work with a client, one of the first things we do is to get all her deepest dreams out on the table.  Her absolute dream life.  Being ‘realistic’ is banned from the session, we want everything out in the open.  Coaching is a place for miracles to occur, not for creating a half-life, inside the boundaries of falsely imposed limitations.

Some things are unrealistic, yes.  However much I want to, I’m never going to meet Henry VIII(my only Bad Boy crush) in this life time. But most of our desires aren’t unrealistic, they’re just unexamined.  For almost everything you want to do, there is someone in the world doing it right now.  Want to find your soul mate at 80 years of age?  There are women older than that falling in love and getting married every day.  Want to have a career where you love what you do, make plenty of money and have lots of free time?  There are people all over the world (and the number is growing) who are doing this as you read. Want to travel the world with your spouse and children, without disrupting your kids education?  There are families everywhere, doing this right at this very moment.

You can worry about being ‘realistic’ later on.  For now, dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed before.  The moment you catch yourself uttering the ‘R’ word, stop and examine if it’s even true.  A quick Google search will usually throw that notion out the window.

If someone is out in the world, doing something you want, then that means it’s possible for you too.  Yes, your situation might be different to theirs.  You might have obstacles that they don’t have.  But guess what?  They have obstacles too.  Ones that you don’t have.  But the difference is, they still made it work.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin <a  One of my 'unrealistic' travel destinations.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin

I remember when I first came back from traveling alone (apparently, it’s completely unrealistic for a girl to want to travel alone).  Most of the people who had told me before I left that it was unrealistic for me, now told me how ‘lucky’ I was, and how they wished they could do it too.  When I told them if I could do it, then there was no reason they couldn’t either, they told me all these reasons why it was possible for me to do it, and unrealistic for them.  One co-worker told me that I was a lot braver than she was.  Well that had nothing to do with it.  All the things she feared could happen to her, could have happened to me too.  I was just as fragile and breakable as she was.  I had all the same fears.  There were times on my adventures when I was absolutely, hands-hidden-inside-my-shirt-sleeves-so-no-one-can-see-how-much-they’re-shaking, terrified.  The difference is, I did it anyway.

Being unrealistic is where the magic happens.  Challenge any automatic assumptions you might have about what’s realistic, or why something is possible for other people, but not for you.  When you feel afraid of challenging the assumption, that’s a sign that you’re on the right track.  Challenge it, move past it and you’ll look back and wonder why you ever thought that way.

Deep Coaching

You are a woman who is successful, adventurous and intuitive and right now, you feel like you’re in a period of transition.  You’ve been following the life path you were told is the correct one.  But you know it doesn’t feel right.  It sometimes feels like you’re sleep-walking through your days, still waiting for your real life to start. You have big dreams.  You want an extraordinary life.  You want to be able to look back on your life and cherish the amazing memories you created, with the satisfaction of knowing you played full out, and that the world is now a far better place, because you were here.  You want to share yourself and your gifts fully with the world. You’ve started to move away from where you were. But you’re feeling stuck because you’re still not clear on where you want to go, or how to get there.  You want to get out of that ‘in between’ phase, and start living the life you want to live.

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Yet, when you consider going for your dreams, something holds you back.  You doubt yourself.  Your family and friends criticize you and try to pull you back into the fold, and you can’t remember how to claim confidence in your own voice.  Every time you try to open up about your dreams, you get shut down and you start to wonder if maybe they’re right…

Coaching is one of the best ways to overcome fears and blocks you have around living your dreams.  It helps you gain clarity and reconnect with your true self, so you can live fully from your soul, knowing exactly what you want.  And you have someone who is 100% on your side, who believes in you, and encourages you to dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed before.

I only work with a few coaching clients a year.  I help women who have forgotten how powerful they are, to reconnect with their true power and reclaim their voice.  I work with women who want to stop apologizing and seeking permission to be who they really are, so they can unapologetically be their authentic, warm, loving and open-hearted selves.  You’ll learn how to listen to your intuition, and take back your power.  The coaching we do is deep, and is unique to each person I work with.

Because I spent so many years feeling powerless myself, I can easily see where people are giving their power away to others and how they can begin to reclaim it.  I can see the destructive thoughts, actions, behaviors, blind spots and patterns that hold them back.  And I can also see the genius in the people I work with, even when they can’t see it themselves.  My clients say they love that they can tell me anything, no matter how big or fearful.  They love that I believe in them and can see their brilliance, even when they can’t see it themselves.  Many of them have told me it’s the first time they’ve ever felt safe enough to fully share their dreams with another person.

Life On Own Terms

You don’t need a coach. No-one needs a coach.  Coaching is something you want, when you’re ready to play full out, and take your life to the next level. Coaching isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s an investment, not just of money, but of time, commitment and courage.

For the first time,probably in years, you will reclaim your own voice and see the world differently, opening up to new possibilities. Listening to your own voice and not the voice of your conditioning literally changes your life.

I work by invitation and referral only.  I spend a minimum of two hours with each prospective client, learning about who you are and exploring what you really want.  If after two hours, we decide we’ve solved your problem, we can leave it there (although I like to keep in touch from time to time, to know how you’re doing).  If you decide you’d like to continue coaching, and if it’s a fit for both of us, then we can explore how we can work together.

Because I only work with a few people, I have a very high filter for the types of clients I work with:

1: You must be coachable.  If you’re just looking for new information, then coaching isn’t for you.  The work we do together needs to be applied for you to experience transformation.

2: You must be fun and interesting. We’ll be working closely together, so it’s important that we enjoy each other’s company.

3: You must be committed and courageous.  You must really want your big dreams, and be willing to stretch outside of your comfort zone.

4: You must be inspiring.  You must be lit up by what you want, and you must want something that will really make a difference in your life and in the world.

If you meet those 4 criteria, then we should have a great time working together.

Contact me at borntobeaheroine@gmail.com, for a powerful coaching conversation. We’ll block out 2 full hours, and I will give you the most powerful coaching experience I can give.  At the end of that time, you’ll know.  Either you’ll want more of that.  Or we’ll be complete, because you’ll have had everything that you need from our conversation. Either way is a success.

When you’re ready to change your life, contact me and we’ll talk.

Give yourself permission to create a glorious lifestyle

What does it take to become a feminine and empowered coach who stands unapologetically for financial abundance and amazing lifestyle? 

My mentor Gina DeVee is answering this question with her new and inspiring 7-part video series she created in France!

Gina is sharing her own journey from being a struggling psychotherapist to now having wealth consciousness and coaching mastery–she explains from her apartment in Paris. 

And she is revealing the steps she took to move her business forward (the same steps that can work for you), thrusting you into the lifestyle and freedom you truly desire. 

With her 7 Paris-based videos, she shares:

  • How she transformed her money story from the “underearner” and “just-enougher” to a 7-figure earner in a few short years (and how any service based professional can as well) 

  • Exactly why most women are afraid to be visible… and how you can overcome this insecurity to have confidence in your business and offerings. 
  • What “The suppressed secret of millions of women” is and how you can take a stand to not be one of them. 
  • How to give yourself permission to create a glorious lifestyle.
You’ll also see other women’s stories… just like yours… who have transformed their own lives through personal development and coaching mastery. 

If you’re ready to unlock your path to experiencing incredible wealth of spirit, potential, and money, click here to watch her first video now >> 

I know you will love these videos from Paris and be inspired by them! 

PS:  If you are ready to allow yourself to be your best self and begin expressing at your highest level and your fullest capacity. Click here for immediate access to Gina’s videos from France and start living your life on purpose.

Big Bonus Reveal

Recently, I’ve posted you an invitation to watch Gina DeVee’s brand new free video series from Paris about her personal and career transformation. 

Have you seen all of the gorgeous videos yet? 

Gina DeVee shared with me that the stories and questions are pouring in from women just like you who can relate to her struggle to create an amazing income, while also stepping up and living her calling. 

So she has decided to host a LIVE call with Q&A on Thursday, October 3rd! 

Some of you have already registered for The Academy, others of you plan to sign up, some are wondering if it’s right for you… 

Gina is gathering women entrepreneurs and decided it’s time for us to all get together and talk! 

That’s why I’m inviting you to join her for a LIVE call Thursday, October 3rd to explain and illuminate the ways in which you can:

  • Transform your own money story so you will never again struggle financially 
  • Become queen of your own life and develop the lifestyle of your dreams! 
  • Develop mastery as a transformational coach and function at such a frequency that clients leap forward to work with you 
  • Deliver the message you came here to deliver – as only you can – with confidence and complete clarity
Mark your calendar and join us!  
  
Thursday, October 3rd at: 
  • 10am LA
  • 1pm NYC
  • 6pm London
  • 7pm Paris

You can listen online:
 
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=46590987 

Or call-in: 
Phone Number: (206) 402-0100 
Pin Code: 013584# 

Gina DeVee is also revealing a MAJOR bonus on this live call!  And you’ll need to be on the live call to hear what it is… you definitely don’t want to miss this one! 

I’m so looking forward to being there with you LIVE! 
  

P.S. If you haven’t seen the video series yet, I encourage you to watch these transformational videos before the call.