If you’re a woman who engages in people-pleasing behaviour, who finds herself drained and exhausted from trying to meet other people’s needs, then this offer is specifically designed for you. Over the next 90 days, you’ll overcome this pattern, reclaim your power and feel valued and accepted for who you really are, not for what you can do for others. It will transform your life and relationships.
The cost of being a people-pleaser is high. You feel stressed and resentful that you give so much to other people, who never seem to feel guilty about not giving to you in return. In fact, they often actively discourage you from having any needs of your own, making you feel that your needs are a massive imposition, while their needs, no matter how big, are perfectly reasonable.
You’re probably an expert in anticipating other people’s needs and you often wonder why they aren’t as sensitive and considerate about anticipating yours. You may feel guilty for having any needs of your own. You find it difficult, if not impossible to say no to others. Deep down, you may even feel that you only exist in relation to other people and you don’t know who you would be if you weren’t taking care of them. The idea of people disliking you or possibly leaving you, withdrawing their love and affection fills you with a sick feeling of dread. You’re afraid to express your real desires and opinions in case it drives other people away.
Because you’re a kind, loving and compassionate woman, you might also find that you attract people who feel no guilt with taking advantage of your generous nature. You keep hoping that each new relationship will be different, that you’ll finally find someone who will want to take care of you for a change. But instead, you feel like a magnet for users and takers who are only happy to stay as long as you’re giving to them and not expecting anything in return.
Driving people-pleasing, over-giving behaviour is a belief, often unconscious, that if you give to other people, anticipate all their needs and be whoever they want you to be, while at the same time suppressing your own needs, expectations, thoughts and opinions, that you will be loved, approved of, appreciated and taken care of. You might even fantasise about other people finally realising that you were the one who ‘saved’ them and was there for them all along. In your fantasy, these grateful people will then shower you with love, adoration and appreciation for the rest of your life and will repay your kindness by meeting all of your needs in return, without you ever having to risk rejection or disapproval by asking directly for what you want.
The frustrating part of this is that it doesn’t work. Instead, you feel sick, exhausted and resentful. You feel like you’re a magnet for self-absorbed, narcissistic people who expect you to meet all of their needs while at the same time shaming you and making you feel guilty for having any of your own. If you’ve been dreaming of finding the right relationship for some time now, you probably look at other women who have adoring men falling all over themselves to meet their needs while any guy you meet acts as though you needing anything from him at all is completely unacceptable. Your deepest desire is to be loved, accepted and appreciated for who you are and yet it never seems to happen for you the way it does for other people who you sometimes secretly feel are less deserving.
This 90 day program is designed to take you from unappreciated people-pleaser to adored, authentic woman who is unapologetic about her desires and can express them in a way that inspires other people to want to meet them. This one to one coaching program is about you reclaiming yourself and your authentic voice and moving from a life based in fear to a richer one based in love.
Over 90 days, the two of us will work together to:
- Uncover your underlying beliefs about relationships, other people and about who you are, to pinpoint where this behaviour comes from so we can shift them to more empowering beliefs, thoughts and actions.
- You will pinpoint the specific ways that you’ve been giving your power away to others so you can replace these behaviours with more positive actions, which honour your own needs.
- You’ll answer some enlightening questions to learn the top two needs which are the driving force behind everything you do and uncover the unhealthy ways you’ve been trying to get these needs met. You will learn the tools and skills to start meeting your needs in healthier ways which serve you and are more true to who you really are.
- You will learn the tools and skills for setting boundaries without guilt so that you are no longer available to be unappreciated and taken advantage of. You will see how having strong boundaries actually frees you up to have even more compassion and consideration for others, when you no longer have to fear being treated like a doormat. It will also mean that others will have a higher value for your time and energy.
- You will reclaim your power and identify the ways you’ve been giving it away to other people, needing their permission to feel worthy and good about yourself.
- You will learn who you really are, your true authentic and magnetic self and experience the satisfaction and joy of being who you want to be and not who other people need you to be.
- You’ll learn your true values, dreams, desires and needs and will learn the skills to express them confidently and unapologetically so you’re no longer playing small. This skill will start to call people into your life who are happy and proud to meet your needs.
- You’ll build a strong sense of self so you never again feel the need to change into someone you’re not.
- You’ll learn the signs of toxic, manipulative people who don’t have your well-being at heart so you can weed them out quickly. You will also learn to hold onto who you are and your own truth and reality when you interact with people like this. No more feeling confused, guilty and afraid when dealing with crazy-making people. This skill is invaluable when dealing with toxic family members who aren’t so easy to walk away from. No more stomach-churning stress when you go home for the Holidays.
- You’ll learn to stop apologizing for who you are and celebrate the fact that you deserve to be here and take up space as much as anyone.
- You’ll uncover any unconscious negative beliefs you have about assertive, self-loving behaviour and learn to see them in a healthier, more positive light.
- You’ll learn the secrets to loving and valuing yourself unconditionally so that you will never accept crumbs from anyone again. You will love yourself so deeply that you simply won’t tolerate anyone who doesn’t feel the same way. You’ll learn to treat yourself very well and understand why you actually help and serve people more deeply by putting yourself first. No-one will ever thank you for devaluing yourself, to make them feel better.
Over the next 90 days, we will meet weekly through 60 minute Skype sessions. The first session will be a 90 minute intensive so I can learn all about you, and your own unique patterns, beliefs and desires so we can get crystal clear on where you hope to be by the end of the program. You will also have email access to me over the 90 days so you can reach out to me with questions at any time.
The cost of this 90 day program is only £500. This is a holiday price and will go back to it’s usual price of £650 after January 2014. I only have
10 places for 10 women 6 places for 6 women on this program so sign up quickly below so you can start the new year being your full, empowered and magnetic self, to call in the life you’ve been dreaming of.
If you have any questions, email me at email@example.com.
I look forward to helping you overcome your self-destructive people-pleasing patterns and helping you to reclaim your true self.